No matter how easy your divorce case may eventually be, the decision to move forward with the divorce in the first place is always a tough one. Its easy for lawyers to say just get divorced because if you don't, they won't make any money! Nevertheless, lawyers owe it to their clients to give them a fair and honest assessment of the issues that one should consider before making the decision to file for divorce.
If there is any hope at all that the marriage should be saved, you should consider going to marriage counseling. Many divorces are the product of a failure to communicate. As a result of this failure to communicate, some couples may not realize that neither of them actually wants to divorce. Without some assistance, they have no where else to turn but to file for divorce to address the problems with their marriage. Counseling can help improve the communication between the couple and possible avoid the divorce. At the very least, it could make the divorce easier to deal with by removing some of the bitter feelings between the parties.
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Too many people go back and forth on filing for divorce. Before you actually make the decision to move forward, gather all of the facts and examine all of the issues. Explore alternatives such as counseling. When you do finally make the decision, make it a final decision. Of course, something can come up that can ultimately change your decision but don't be one of those people that decides to divorce today only to pull back or have cold feet tomorrow. It will just start everything off on the wrong foot.
If you move forward with the divorce, your child will likely be seriously impacted no matter what happens. Your job as a parent is to minimize this impact as much as possible. Of course, putting off a divorce just because of the children is probably the wrong move. In fact, some professionals may tell you that this is the worst move you can make. Speaking of professionals, I think all children going through a divorce should undergo at least some short term counseling. Although counseling is more widely accepted now then it was twenty or thirty years ago, there may still be a stigma attached to it. Isn't it better to have something and not need it than to need it and not have it? Besides, children are good about putting up a false front of being OK with the divorce while it is eating them up inside. A professional should be able to uncover that and deal with it.
Another issue that you have to consider is how this will impact you financially. There are two issues, the cost of the divorce and your standard of living after the divorce. Is this the best time to get divorced or should you wait until you have saved more money, finished a bankruptcy, paid off a debt, etc. How will your support yourself after the divorce? Will you have to still support your spouse? Can your family assist you both during and after the divorce? Can you afford your lawyer? These are all issues you should consider. Most importantly however, get a free consultation from a lawyer before you start making assumptions about what your life will be like after the divorce. Chances are, your assumptions are wrong.
Your divorce may be simple or it may involves a lot of issues such as houses, bank accounts, credit card debts, income, children, cars, etc. If you are considering a divorce, think about all of the issues in your case and which issues will be fought over and which issues will not. The more issues you can agree on, the easier the case will be. While you will likely need to gather a whole host of documents during the divorce case, you rarely need anything to start the case off in most jurisdictions.
One of the most important considerations is when to hire a lawyer and what lawyer to hire. Notice I didn't say that you should consider whether or not you should hire a lawyer. Everyone should have a divorce lawyer. Even fellow divorce lawyers hire divorce lawyers. That should tell you something. If your case is easy, hiring a lawyer should not be that expensive. If you think you cannot afford a lawyer, you may eventually learn that you cannot afford to move forward without one. For one, you don't know what you are doing. More importantly, you are likely to make big mistakes which could cost you a fortune to fix. Make an investment in your future and hire the right lawyer. In terms of timing, you should hire a lawyer before you do anything. In terms of who to hire, you can ask your network of contacts, others lawyers or the internet.
Finally, consider your emotions. Can you put them aside and handle this case from a logical standpoint? Of course this may be impossible to do completely, but you need to be able to do it the best you can. If you are not emotionally ready to handle the divorce, you might need to seek professional help to prepare you for the case. If you can put all or at least most of your emotions aside, you will save a ton of money, be healthier and probably have a better outcome to your case.
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